for the introverted woman ~
Do you remember how it felt like as a kid, trying to stay up as late as you could on a Sunday night because you dreaded going to school on Monday morning?
In fact, I remember waking up already cranky on Sunday mornings. I felt like the whole day was "ruined" because the next day would inevitably be a school day, where someone else would control where I go and what I do, and where there'd be tests and homework and crowded hallways and heavy textbooks.
Unfortunately, for many of us, the "Sunday blues" still happens... except instead of dreading school on Monday morning, we're dreading our job!
It's true that, for many of us, having a job or otherwise working to support ourselves and our families is an inevitable part of being a responsible adult.
But the "Sunday blues" is not an inevitable part of adulthood.
Adult-ing does NOT have to be miserable. I know that life can be hard, but I also believe that it's our responsibility as grown-ass women to not put ourselves in miserable situations if we don't have to, because when we're unhappy and unhealthy, we have less capacity for promoting the health and happiness of those around us. Umm.... unproductive, much?!?!
And yes, you do have the power to get rid of the Sunday blues for good. But first, you must get serious about creating the time and space to pause and reflect.
What exactly isn't working for you right now? Answering this question will help you to pinpoint what would work for you.
In my experience, there are 5 general reasons that we end up hating our jobs - even if we had started out loving it! Keep reading see which of these 5 soul-sucking reasons are making you dread Mondays the most.
1. The things you have to do for your job don't actually come natural to you.
What do you spend the majority of your workday doing?
I'm a firm believer that pretty much every task we do on a daily basis either drains us or energizes us. So are you spending more of your day doing things that drain you, or doing things that make you feel "in the flow"?
If you're reading this, chances are good that you're an introvert or highly sensitive person like me. And if you're spending most of your day in meetings, seeing clients, cold-calling, working in an open office space, or hosting events... it's no wonder that you're struggling to get out of bed on weekday mornings!
When you spend a good chunk of your workday doing things that don't come naturally to your personality, simply getting the job done becomes a struggle, and you'll likely fatigue or burnout far sooner than your peers. It's incredibly hard to feel successful or even competent in this situation.
Simply put, it's exhausting and demoralizing to spend most of your day struggling to go against your own DNA.
2. You have an unhealthy work environment.
I'm talking about both your physical environment and your social environment at work.
If your physical surroundings at work is "blah", it can mean a couple things. If you're anything like me, having a shoddy work space might make you feel that your employer doesn't value you, or can't afford to take care of their workers. Even if you have the most awesome boss in the world, the appearance of the place you work everyday says a lot about what your workplace values and what they're willing to prioritize.
Similarly, having a physical workspace that aggravates your senses is especially draining or overstimulating for highly sensitive people. Loud noises, constant interruptions, flickering fluorescent lights, intense smells, cramped quarters, lots of traffic... these are all sensory experiences that can affect your nervous system on a daily basis.
And that's not even taking into account the social issues that might be circulating in your office: the gossip, conflict, negative vibes, poor morale, drama, prickly personalities, hostility, power dynamics... all this is not ideal for an empath to immerse herself in for 8+ hours a day.
3. Your job conflicts with your values.
The outcomes you're working towards everyday, or the way in which you're working towards those goals, might not jive with you on a spiritual or intellectual level.
And again, this can be possible even if you used to be super proud of your job when you first started. Because people change, and as we grow, our values and priorities are allowed to change as well.
For instance, I used to loooove my job as a community-based healthcare provider, but as the years went by, I felt that I was being called to promote the well-being of my community in a way that wasn't just bound by medical diagnoses and billing codes and treating symptoms. My definition of wellness is so much more than that, and it soon became painful to confine myself to an industry that I felt I'd outgrown.
Living with integrity (and therefore, without regret) means acting in alignment with your true values. Not expressing or acting upon your true values can lead to major discomfort for intuitive or introspective people.
4. You're overworked.
Okay, I don't think I need to explain this much.
And I'll be honest: I think people talk about being overworked way too much. Yes, certain jobs (like being a teacher or non-profit service provider) is a LOT of work. I mean, maybe you're even lucky to have time to shove down a granola bar for lunch.
But there's nuances to feeling overworked that people don't talk about. It's not just about how many tasks are on your to-do list. Your crazy to-do list might keep you suuuuper busy, but being busy is usually not enough to make someone HATE their job.
If you really dig into it, that feeling of being overworked most likely stems from the first 3 reasons we just talked about!
5. You're not growing in the way that you want to grow.
For heart-centered women like us, it's usually not enough to just "climb the corporate ladder". It's not enough to just do more of the same stuff we've been doing, albeit at a more intense or well-paid level. It's often something deeper that keeps us engaged and fulfilled in our work.
For example, I'm someone who naturally craves learning new things, especially if it's related to holistic health, social issues, and psychology. I love creating programs from scratch that will help people, and I love revamping old ways of doing things to make them better. I'm the most creative when I work alone, but it's also energizing for me to talk about big ideas with other mission-driven women.
When I'm not given opportunities to explore my more cerebral side and stretch my creativity, I end up disengaging. Can you relate?
We as dynamic human beings also require novelty in order to feel fully alive. If we're not being challenged, stretched, or given chances to grow... we check out. It's natural and normal. But it also matters HOW we grow: If you want to grow your impact in the community, for instance, would it be enough to simply grow in how many administrative skills you gain in the office? Probably not. All the Excel or PowerPoint knowledge in the world will likely not fill that void you feel if you're not making a difference in your community like you want to make.
So, which one(s) is it? Which of the 5 reasons above are making you hate your soul-sucking job the most?
Once you pinpoint what's NOT working for you in your current work situation, you'll be able to start identifying the essential elements of a job you'll love.
It may not feel like you have other options right now, but I know from personal experience that there are ALWAYS other options. I've taken pay cuts, moved, held down 3 jobs at a time, and changed industries in order to find work that's both fulfilling and sustainable for me.
(Realistically, if I had a bunch of kids to take care of, I don't know if I could have done all this - which is why I felt like I couldn't afford to wait! I had to act immediately! There really is no time like the present!)
You will not magically wake up one morning and love your job. Your job will not magically get better on its own. Life doesn't change unless you do. You'll need to make conscious, intentional changes in order to improve your situation... and you'll need to get real honest about whether those changes are "worth it" or not.
So I'll leave you with this:
Your peace of mind is worth it.
Your quality of life is worth it.
Your well-being is worth it.
Your loved ones deserve to see you happy.
Your integrity is worth it.
Your vision is worth it.
YOU are worth it.
P.S. If you’re struggling to just make it through each workday, you might like my FREE Workday Zen Kit, coming out this season (fall 2018). Follow me on Instagram (@bewellwithdianalin) to find out when it drops! xo