7 Self-Care Habits That Every Healthy INFJ Lives By

Do you feel like a human sponge sometimes?

Like... soaking up every emotion and sensation that's around you, whether you want to take it in or not.

And just "knowing" things about the people and places you come in contact with, which often come with tons of painfully heavy baggage and often ends with you being the only person who seems to be able to see through the BS and un-truths.

Plus, don't forget about your OWN baggage! Because let's face it - we don't need anyone else's drama to "spice up" our life because we have more than enough of our own inner turmoil to go around!

Okay, so the last statement is me poking fun at us INFJs and sensitive/intuitive folks a little bit. But I'm also being kinda serious.

For those of us who feel very deeply on a physical, spiritual, and emotional level...

For those of us who live and work in cultures that value extroversion and aggression over our more reflective natures...

For those of us who are weirdly attuned to the suffering in the world...

For those of us who are also weirdly obsessed with wanting to make a positive impact because of all this suffering...

And for those of us who have an old soul and a child-like spirit in the same body, which can get pretty confusing sometimes...

You best believe there are some very particular things we need to do to stay healthy, because we're dealing with some very particular challenges in daily life.

There are certain parts of our personality or way of moving through the world that simply doesn't mesh with many workplaces or social circles. And that's okay.

INFJs are famously known for our deep desire to be "understood", but we actually don't need to be fully understood by others in order to be happy or fulfilled.

What we need is to understand ourselves - our own needs and preferences - so we can contribute our most resilient and authentic self to the world in a way that's irreplaceable.

I've found that every thriving INFJ, empath, or heart-centered introvert I've ever met has integrated the following 7 self-care habits into their daily or weekly life.

These 7 self-care habits can benefit most people, but they're especially powerful and necessary for folks like us. These habits recharge us when we're drained by our social environments, soothe us when we're overstimulated, and strengthen us by appealing to our natural talents.

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These are the 7 self-care habits that every healthy INFJ lives by:

1. She carves out alone time.

Duh, right? ;)

We all know that we should do this, but do we actually do it? With the demands of work, the pulls of social obligation, and our own perfectionism when it comes to being the "perfect" friend or "perfect" daughter or "perfect" employee, carving out a healthy chunk of alone time can be tough.

Setting aside some alone time on purpose is what will prevent us from having to cancel plans out of desperation - whether that means calling out sick from work, or flaking on loved ones.

Sooner or later, every introvert on this planet will need to spend time alone for the sake of their own mental health. It's up to you whether you want to carve out that time before you crash... or after.

Plus, this alone time is where a lot of the following self-care habits can happen.

2. She seeks comfortable environments.

I used to think that I was weak for being so easily influenced by my surroundings.

I would startle during the fireworks show on the Fourth of July, get super drained when going to the mall to do last-minute Christmas shopping, and feel anxious or depressed around people who were anxious or depressed! Not fun.

As an adult who's been consciously practicing self-care for years, I now have strategies for protecting my energy in potentially draining situations and I also know that I have the power to choose when, where, and for how long I immerse myself in any environment.

Being sensitive to environmental sensations can be a gift and a powerful tool to support your health - as long as you can identify which environments nourish you the most.

Yes, your surroundings can make you feel stressed out and overstimulated. But they can also make you feel calm, grounded, joyful, strong, and refreshed.

3. She listens to her physical body.

We touchy-feely types (hehe) tend to carry around a ton of stress, untold stories, and trauma in our physical bodies.

One of the challenges of being very cerebral and contemplative is that we sometimes forget to give our bodies the same amount of attention as we do our thoughts.

Not only does emotion get trapped in our tissues and nervous system, but we might also be experiencing emotions that yearn to be expressed in a physical way. Maybe through dancing, kicking the sh*t out of a punching bag, or running 5 miles.

Our physical body is trying to process our physical and emotional experiences, all day every day. The healthy INFJ knows how to give her body what it needs in order to make sense of, express, or process out all the stories we experience.

4. She eats nourishing food.

This one overlaps a little bit with what we just talked about. After all, listening to your body is mandatory if you want to figure out what types of food are truly nourishing for you - or not.

Food is a really complex subject. For our purposes, focus on how food can support you in feeling your physical best, without sacrificing the pleasure and culture that's associated with most foods we like to eat.

I mean, I see those meal prep photos on Instagram, with the bland steamed veggies and bland grilled white meat chicken... and I don't know about you, but I kind of throw up in my mouth a little, just imagining how BORING every meal must be. That's not nourishing to me. It might be "healthy", but it's not satisfying.

I digress.

The point is, most folks who read this will have these things in common: we're more sensitive to how food makes us feel compared to the average Jane, we're also more senstive to the effects of NOT eating enough food, and we value the cultural/social aspects of food.

The best meals are the ones that make both our bodies and our emotions happy!

5. She reflects.

Unlike extroverts, we introverts do our best reflection when we're alone. It always boggles my mind when extroverts "think out loud" - how does one do that?! - but different strokes for different folks. We're just wired to process information differently.

The healthy introvert allows herself to indulge in the big questions of life. I mean, HELLO, we call ourselves introverts because we love introspection!

It's the most natural thing in the world for us to wonder about our purpose, how to make things better, how to promote social justice, why history unfolded as it did, where we want to be 5 years from now, how to bring our next big idea to life... and it goes on and on.

This time for reflection is so important because it's energizing and restorative to do something that comes this naturally to you, and it's one of the best ways to make sure your daily life is aligned with what's most meaningful to you.

Because I know how painful it can be for most INFJs to feel misaligned, unfulfilled, or purposeless in life.

6. She creates things for fun.

Making stuff is fun. Innovation is fun. Art is fun. Being creative is fun.

Do you ever wonder why you feel so "in the flow" while you're playing the ukelele, doodling in your bullet journal, knitting cat ear beanies, or writing your manifesto on how to achieve world peace?

It feels so good to work on creative projects because engaging with the creative process is how you live into several of your values, such as purpose, beauty, growth, spirituality, and playfulness. Better yet, it's pretty safe to go all-out on expressing these values in the container of creativity, because it's "just for fun".

And in a culture that values an aggressive, analytical, competitive, and masculine version of success, we've gotta live into our values where we can. Dreamers unite!

7. She allows for white space or spontaneity in her schedule.

Finally, the healthy INFJ makes space for... space!

Creating space in your schedule is a pre-requisite for creating space in your mind, your attention, and your heart for new possibilities - and for REST!

We all have periods of our life that make us feel like we're in a rat race, and we have literally no time or energy to course-correct or even breathe. These are the moments that disconnect us from ourselves.

White space is an essential ingredient for deep reflection. It's an essential ingredient for accessing intuition. It's an essential ingredient for processing emotions.

Allowing for white space is such an important foundational self-care habit because it gives us the room to pay attention to what we need in the moment, and then respond accordingly.

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I'm curious: which of these 7 self-care habits do you need to reconnect with the most right now?

Self-care is not created equal: there's no one way to do self-care that will work for every heart-centered introvert on the planet.

But these 7 habits are definitely a good place to start because they give you a concrete strategy, but without dictating exactly how self-care should look like for you. There's room to customize and personalize.

If you want to go deeper on how these 7 self-care habits can look like for YOU specifically, you might be interested in "7 Keys to Creating an At-Home Retreat That Soothes & Strengthens the Introvert’s Body, Mind, and Spirit".

This free guide to creating a one-day at-home retreat will teach you how to infuse your retreat with each of the 7 self-care habits described in this blog post, in a way that works for YOU. Yep, you can do EVERYTHING described in this blog post in just one day.

I'll show you how.

Get access to "7 Keys to Creating An At-Home Retreat That Soothes & Strengthens the Introvert’s Body, Mind, and Spirit" by requesting access to the Resource Library. Just submit your info below.

Much love,

Diana

Which of these 4 toxic states are burning you out at work?

Here's something I know about you, simply because you've found your way to this blog: any old office job won't keep your attention for long, because you want MORE.

You want to feel connected to your work on a deeper level, and you want to feel like you're contributing something worthwhile while you're paying your bills.

You aren't in this just for the money, dammit!!

Which is how you ended up in the job that you're in. Whether you chose this gig because the work itself was meaningful to you, or whether you wanted to use it to support another meaningful part of your life, you signed up for this thing with only the best of intentions.

So how did you end up here, feeling less-than-awesome, and maybe even feeling kinda burnt out?

If you're in the caring or helping professions, you probably already know the answer. It takes a BRICK-TON of energy to make a living by giving to others.

Empathic fatigue is a very real thing. It's equivalent to a corporate office drone saying that she's "overworked", shuffling mountains of paperwork until 10:00pm every night - except the helping professional is also overworking her emotional, mental, psychological, and sometimes spiritual capacities, in addition to working overtime.

But empathic fatigue isn't the only thing that can make a once-meaningful job into a painful, soul-sucking energy drain.

If you're feeling drained by once-meaningful work, consider these other less-talked-about possibilities:

1. Toxic physical environment.

Even the most rewarding and satisfying job can drain you if the surroundings aren't supportive of your potential or natural way of functioning.

All living beings are naturally attuned to their environment; we absorb information from our surroundings 24/7 because this is how we survive and thrive. This is why we have our senses! We need to sense when there's danger, opportunity, or sustenance nearby.

But for those of us who are highly sensitive, the environment can be an even more intense influencer of our well-being - in both a negative and positive way. A toxic or overstimulating physical environment can affect us a LOT... and a nourishing or supportive environment can affect us a LOT.

Draining workplace surroundings might consist of distracting noise, abrasive urban sounds outside your window, fluorescent lighting, areas that feel unsafe, temperatures that are too cold or too hot, yelling or screaming, lack of air flow, broken or damaged furniture, lack of privacy, strong perfumes or air fresheners, lack of physical space... I can go on and on.

For those of us who are more intuitive or sensitive, these types of environmental triggers can cause a significant decrease in work satisfaction, especially if they're experienced all day, every day. They're an assault on our senses, which is an assault on our physiology as a whole.

2. Toxic social environment.

Empaths and heart-centered introverts everywhere know how painful it is to deal with ongoing drama, conflict, negativity, inauthenticity, or passive aggression at work.

But here's the truth: social interactions don't even have to be NEGATIVE persay to be draining! Maybe you have coworkers or clients who are especially long-winded, or "use a lot of words", as I like to say. Or maybe they're frequently talking about themselves, to the point where you feel like you're just listening without having a chance to contribute anything. Or maybe they talk really FAST and it's a struggle to keep up with what they're trying to say when you're already tired from a long day.

Introverted empaths can physically feel the intense emotions of those around them AND feel the draining effects of oversocializing. If you've ever felt on edge AND exhausted at the same time... this is probably why!

Absorbing the energies of the folks in your work space every day can be overwhelming, even if the rest of your job is not.

3. Disillusionment.

Okay, my friend. This is the hardest one to hear, in my opinion: maybe you love the IDEA of your job more than you love actually DOING it. The mission is meaningful, but your job tasks are not.

I've had a ton of personal experience in this area. I had to experience many meaningful but draining jobs before I learned to listen to my gut instincts instead of the "nice ideas" in my head.

Like, yes, supporting older adults to walk down to the Bingo game more independently is a nice idea. And yes, doing anything involving young people sounds great. And getting more money for a non-profit to continue their great work in the community is super honorable.

These are all really nice ideas that I can get behind. In fact, I absolutely LOVE all these ideas and I think they MUST be done!

...by someone else. ;) Preferably someone who loves physical therapy, chit chatting, witty banter, negotiating, or networking. (i.e. not me!)

Just because you believe in your work does NOT mean that you have to (or should) be the one to do it.

Just because a job is meaningful to you does not mean it will also be enjoyable for you to do it - and that's okay. It just means that it's time to get behind that mission in a different way.

Now, I'd love to hear from you.

If you're feeling drained and burnt out from a job that was once meaningful to you, what do you think is the biggest factor: empathic fatigue, toxic surroundings, the social environment, or disillusionment?

Maybe you've even experienced all of these to varying degrees, like I have.

But here’s the good news: there’s hope!!!

It is 1,000% possible for you to find, create, or re-ignite the type of work that lights you up and that frees you to be your true self at your core. You can absolutely have a worklife that allows you to thrive and succeed beyond your wildest dreams, making an impact in a way that makes you feel good - and that doesn’t burn you out.

What if I told you that your current draining job might actually be the key to the worklife of your dreams?

Sign up for the FREE audio training, 3 Secrets for Turning Your Soul-Sucking Job Into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You, to find out how.

xo, Diana

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